Unspoken Screams

Dear God,

Why can't I scream,

 at the top of my lungs when I'm angry? 

Why do I have to think about 

other people and what they'll think of me 

when they don't even know about my life? 

Why do I have to choose to slide down 

my bathroom wall and cry?

Why can't I just be me?

Why can't I scream and shout? 

Why do I have to hide my vulnerabilities? 

And why do I have to add the tag of being overdramatic when I express my true self? 

Maybe I don't want people to run away from me, thinking I'm a lunatic. 

Why do I make people laugh

About the things that hurt?

 And since when did we start 

Counting physical harm as self-harm

And excluding words from that list? 

And if you knew I was doing self-harm,

Would you have stopped me? 

Would you have embraced me and listened? 

Would you have allowed me to scream and shout and make all my inner demons deaf?

 Would you have said, 

"Behold, not my child, unleash thy inner demons. 

Let the whole world consume by the inferno within 

And from ashes, forge a new beginning".